Regression to the Mean

At the end of January I finished my book. Yup. Me. I did it. There were plenty of times when I thought I wouldn’t complete my goal. But I did. I was so happy and proud of myself. Both weird feelings. Immediately I thought what is going to ruin this? Messed up right? Well like clockwork the universe answered my question in the most unimaginable way.

I lost my baby this week. My shadow. My booba. She blessed me with 13 years. It wasn’t long enough though. My heart is broken. My voice cracks when I talk about anything. Memories and sadness surround me. I know time will heal this pain but for now I am not sure when I can record a podcast episode. Until the balance within me is restored I am not even going to think about recording an episode. I will however focus on my editing.

Her death, the unrelenting emptiness I feel I will learn to carry as I continue to live and dream of my future. Of course I will always wish she could be by my side – snoring like usual – but she will always bring a smile to my face, tears to my eyes because of the love she effortlessly gave. If you have anything in your life you love please tell them – constantly – and hold them tight.