Regression to the Mean

At the end of January I finished my book. Yup. Me. I did it. There were plenty of times when I thought I wouldn’t complete my goal. But I did. I was so happy and proud of myself. Both weird feelings. Immediately I thought what is going to ruin this? Messed up right? Well like clockwork the universe answered my question in the most unimaginable way.

I lost my baby this week. My shadow. My booba. She blessed me with 13 years. It wasn’t long enough though. My heart is broken. My voice cracks when I talk about anything. Memories and sadness surround me. I know time will heal this pain but for now I am not sure when I can record a podcast episode. Until the balance within me is restored I am not even going to think about recording an episode. I will however focus on my editing.

Her death, the unrelenting emptiness I feel I will learn to carry as I continue to live and dream of my future. Of course I will always wish she could be by my side – snoring like usual – but she will always bring a smile to my face, tears to my eyes because of the love she effortlessly gave. If you have anything in your life you love please tell them – constantly – and hold them tight.

Needed to Regroup

Needed to take a couple days away from social media to regroup and focus on writing. Unfortunately I discovered I don’t have enough material for my novel. I wasn’t 100% percent sure I had enough ideas anyway so I’m not too surprised.

The only real bummer is that I put myself on a deadline to have this novel done by the end of September and this may set me back. My goal is I have to write two pages a day. Sometimes it is a breeze and other times it feels like I am learning to write all over again. Can y’all relate?

Trying to stay focused and determined to stay on track. Means I may not be able or have enough energy to give with networking. Feel like I am no good at it anyways. I’m a pretty private person in general so it’s been hard to think of what to share, what to talk about. Hopefully I can find a balance – I’m all about balance! ha – between everything.

Until then…